August 14, 2011

Sunday Simmer: Cooking With This Little Light of Mine

I grew up on a farm in rural Maryland as I have mentioned time and time again. I love to mention it because that way of living seriously impacted my life in several areas and without that background I would not be the Shawn you all love so dearly today. I dedicate my sundays now to posting my favorite recipes and cooking while adding the occasional story or lazy sunday interest piece.

I found my love for cooking from this farm raised background. You see when it came to eating dinner we didn’t go hunting around the freezer for food to pop in the microwave. We got fresh food and used the ovens, range and cast iron implements to cook a hearty down home meal. More often than not that included making things from scratch (which tends to be mush cheaper than the premade counterparts)

Cooking instead of reheating tends to more involved and the job goes much faster if there is someone that can be a kitchen hand. I was that kitchen hand. You see I lived with my aunt for the majority of my childhood (the whys about this are too long a story) and when she cooked I was her right hand man.  I cant tell you the times I helped make dumplings ( the real kind that are flat not the ohio lazy doughy disgusting kind) or the times I helped brown hamburger in the cast iron skillet. I was all about cooking and it came naturally to me.

You can imagine the lack of shock from my parents when for christmas one year I requested that Santa (if you switch the words around it spells satan…lol) bring me an easy bake oven. I thought they were the neatest thing I had ever seen and needed one. No I did not want one I needed it. For our household, letters to santa were a mere suggestion and santa made the final ruling (we usually got what we wanted but we were deluded into believing santa had unlimited money). Imagine my excitement (little adorable shawn who walked to the beat of his own drummer) when I opened my gifts only to discover that I had gotten an Easy-Bake Oven.

I was so proud of that easy bake oven that I  had it on the top of my gifts and just had to take it out of the box and look at it because the pictures on the box were just not enough. My poor parents though, I feel bad looking back because they sure tried to make me more regular. My father always bought me a Tonka truck for christmas though it did nothing to make me more masculine I sure love those trucks too. This could turn into the “gender assignments given by toy manufacturers” speech but I will refrain.

Christmases for me were always so overwhelming because I have always been wrapped up in the spirit of the day so by the time I had actually calmed down the oven was at the back of my mind until the un thinkable happened. I went to my pile of gifts only to see that my sisters dog has shit directly on the oven. I even exclaimed ” Lyndsi, your dog just shit on my Easy-Bake Oven”. I have never forgiven that dog, I know it sounds harsh but at this age I never though of cussing so for me to cuss I would have had to have been livid.

This is not a clear moral so I will spell it out for you. Cooking keeps me centered like yoga keeps skinny b*tches centered. I also think a hidden moral is do not come between me and food or I will lose it.

May your pots steady simmer and the mimosas keep flowing.

*My memory sucks apparently I had the more masculine Mrs. Fields Baking Factory, lets just pretend I had an Easy-Bake oven. I mean they both used a freaking 60W light bulb to cook with whats the difference?

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July 22, 2011

The Death of My Credibility

Dear readers these past few weeks have been a roller coaster of life and I can assure you it has not been as enjoyable as Diamondback. I went from the low of working my tail off to save for a car deposit and trying to live as poorly as I could to going home to Maryland and getting a new car and having all the fun of driving it back. I was so proud of that new car.

Now for the part at the top of the rollercoaster when it hits you that there is no going back and that the coaster is going down at 80 miles per hour whether you want it to or not. I had an accident in my brand new car just a little over a week after getting it. I was driving to work and could not see a tree lying in the road until it was too late and though I applied my brakes and attempted to move out of the way I slammed into that tree.

There are a few things that are upsetting to me about this whole process. The first has to be that I was taken totally by surprise and was in complete shock. I remember trying to cry thinking that would calm me down, I could not even cry I was so shocked. My arms were shaking so violently that I had a hard time calling anyone, much less 911.

The second thing that really bothered me is that the area in question had just had asplundth come and clear out all kinds of trees and underbrush because of the telephone lines on that hillside but that one area was not done for whatever reason and the tree I hit was clearly dead way before it tumbled down into the road.

The third and most painful thing is that I have been driving for 6 years without one accident or one moving traffic violation and yet when called everyone treated me like I was just an irresponsible driver who  “unintentionally, intentionally” hit a tree. I have worked so hard all my adult life to build up an image for myself where I was seen as responsible and trust worthy.

For the record I do not go looking for trees to run into and as much as I want to I am having a hard time not hearing the crunch of the metal and the pop of the airbags. I have bruises to remind me that my seatbelt worked. I also know that my bank account is $2000 lighter with nothing but a busted up new car to show for it.

Shawn meet square 1.

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July 10, 2011

Simmering Sunday: Creamy Broccoli Soup

I have been dieting for quite some time now. I end up making a lot of food that is a byproduct of my diet. I try to eat a salad daily and though I prefer to buy my veggies prepped (it is lazy I know but it saves me time and allows for more episodes of Ally McBeal) it is cheaper to buy them and prep. them yourself. Because of this whole car buying thing I have been trying to live on a shoestring so I am proud to admit I couldn’t afford the bags of broccoli/cauliflower blend so I just bought a bunch of  broccoli stalks for like 2 bucks.

I was prepping my broccoli to use in my salads when I realized the I never do anything with the stalk of the broccoli so I thought why not save it to make veggie stock with. Knowing myself I would never use it to make stock so I decided in a snap decision to make cream of broccoli soup. I had not really planned ahead for this soup and luckily being the gourmand I am I had the essentials here at the house. So because I believe that few culinary secrets should not be kept secret I would like to share with you the first installment of Simmering Saturday.

Ingredients:

  • Broccoli Florets and Stems
  • One Medium Onion
  • Canned Corn
  • 1 1/2 Sticks of Butter
  • 1 Box of Stock (chicken pref.)
  • 1 Bottle Chardonnay
  • Salt and Pepper
  • 1 Cup Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
  • 1/2 Gallon Milk
  • 1 Pint Heavy Cream (optional)
  1. First you want to prep your veggies. Separate the florets and rough chop the stems of your broccoli. Dice you Onion. Drain your canned corn.
  2. Next you want to go get your stock pot and put it on the stove top over medium high heat and drizzle in some EVOO. Toss in your diced onion with a sprinkle of salt to sweat those babies out.
  3. Once your onions look almost clear you want to add in the florets and the canned corn allowing them to cook for about 5-8 minutes
  4. Add the equivalent of 1-2 cups of your chardonnay to deglaze the pan and get all those caramelized flavors off the bottom of the pot, bring that mixture to a simmer.
  5. In a separate pot bring your sock up to temp then add it to the main batch. At this point you will smell the soup and thing “oh God how will these flavors ever mix together?” Just channel your inner Paula Deen and add a full stick of salted butter.
  6. The soup should really start to smell good at this point and what you will want to do is let the mixture simmer for at least 15 minutes stirring occasionally.
  7. Once your veggies are tender add your half gallon of milk. This will significantly decrease the temp so yet again bring it to a simmer.
  8. The final big step it to use a pan to make a rue to thicken the soup. Take you half a stick of butter and melt it in a small frying pan and add a few tablespoons of flour until the mixture looks almost like watery grits allowing it to cook for only a short time before adding it to the soup and stirring it around
  9. Before you eat this soup take a cup of mozzarella and sprinkle it in slowly while stirring taking the soup off the heat and enjoy.

This soup is derived wholly from scratch and on the fly and it tastes amazing. Depending on your tastes add as much salt and pepper you like and this will warm your soul or it will give you a heart attack. I plan on making this again on some cold winter days and like all soup it is best served with a crusty bread.

Until next time love and best dishes…lol j/k I wouldn’t rip off Paula Deen she is my old lady crush. I will tell you I used a Paula Deen stock pot and my Paula Deen cookware to make this soup (thanks Paula).

What is your favorite type of soup?

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July 8, 2011

Wait, I’m The One Calling The Fashion Police?

I of all people am as far removed from fashion as you can imagine. To say I get dressed in the dark would be a compliment. I tend to stick with v-necks, button ups, manpris, and my hoodies…oh and I forgot my infamous Old Navy red flip-flops. All that taken into account I feel that I am barely qualified to say this but what the heck went on with some of the spring collections this year.

I know that High Fashion is really never meant to be worn out on the street unless you are Lady Gaga dressing in meat or popping from and egg but these styles are ridiculous. Some of the trends I saw were  using a mustard color, parachute pants and skirts for men. I know my manpris kinda push the limit but I am fairly positive that I would never want to wear a skirt ( I will never testify to this fact just because you never know when you might need to do something crazy).

To give you a taste of these mens fashions I pulled some of the photos taken by OUT.com in their fashion section and have randomly placed them through the blog so that you can get an idea of how crazy some of the high fashion for men was this year.

Dont get me wrong I have watched the entire  series of Ugly Betty and I enjoy catching an episode of “Make Me A Super Model”/”Project Runway” from time to time but I really do not think that these trends have practical application in our world. It all seems very “been there done that”. Skirts for men are totally owned by the scottish and are done so in a more masculine way. Parachute pants should have died with the 80′s alone with acid wash jeans. And Mustard… Mustard? Who the freak likes the color of mustard with the exception of color blind people and dogs?

This bit is awkward and does not flow very well but I needed to add a disturbing fashion trend I noticed the other day when in Mason Ohio. Apparently the oh so enlightened youth of our nation have decided that they need to wear socks up to their calves. I find this so distracting especially when you notice that they have accompanied those full pulled up socks are sandals. When did it become cool to do that thing grandparents were made famous for?

So I have to ask you spring collection aside, What have you seen lately that would land someone in fashion jail?

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July 5, 2011

Day of Douchbaggery

Today has been a freaking horrible day and I thought that venting online (since I have already exercised for the day) was the best way to handle it. I sometimes have days that go according to my little schedule of my mind and some that don’t and today was just not one of those days. There are three things that specifically relate to douchebags today and I will present them in order.

First that dumb ho Casey Anthony got Acquitted of murder in the first degree, aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter of a child. I honestly have barely followed this story but like every young person my age I am used to skimming everything online and I knew enough about the case to proclaim that it was cut and dry guilty. Had I have been a juror I would have said throw her away and keep her there (I am against the death penalty because I find killing a killer morally objectionable)

I was absolutely astounded that she was acquitted. Maybe I need a firmer understanding of justice but I would have to say that justice was not served. I also do not think that justice will be served in the afterlife (if there is such a thing). This makes Casey Anthony D-Bag of the century.

Second thing that had my feathers ruffled was the fact that I lost a $50 bill. I personally hate losing anything and especially when it means I will be losing money. The real kicker though was that I remember where and when I lost the money and shortly returned to the parking lot of the CVS I had Just been to. I looked around and didn’t see the money and went to ask if maybe a good citizen had dropped it off. Nobody dropped it off and they pocketed $50. Who the frig does that, were they not taught any manners? You find money in an obvious location you return it to the main counter of the store/ establishment as lost or report it to the local police (depending on the value) or here is an idea don’t effing touch my money.

The final douche bag thing of the day was well let me show you it will be easier:

Douchegoggles

If you wonder what the funny thing over my chest is and if that is what I am talking about the answer is no. The thing over my chest covers a work logo that I do not care to advertise on this blog as my job and my blog are completely unrelated and all things posted here are solely the opinion of me and me alone. The thing I am showing you is the cheap douchegoggles (sunglasses) I bought for a trip to Kings Island so my contacts wont make my eyes feel like they are incinerating every time I get into too much sun.

I feel better, thanks y’all.

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July 4, 2011

He Is Not Dead Yet

My car being on the fritz has left me with a lot of time for reading and watching movies on Netflix. I often find myself enthralled about books and movies that as a general tone have some sort of romance. Why just the other day I found myself watching a movie about an ill guided matchmaker played by Gwyneth Paltrow called “Emma”. I found this particular movie kind of dull and fell asleep before the first 1/4 of the movie was over.

The trouble is I have a hard time imagining that life cannot be as magical as in the movies. I want to believe in a world where people drive above the speed limit to get to the airport to pick up the girl just before they scan her boarding pass. I want to believe that if you break out into a chorus of “That’s How You Know” in central park that a group of people will flock around you and have a large musical spectacular with coordinated dance and song spontaneously.

Though I really want to believe that these things are true they aren’t. Romance is dead and changing times have killed it. We are so wrapped up in our cellphones and laptops and all our so important lives we don’t take the slow route. Everything has to be fast in our society and I think that romance is like a good cup of tea, it takes time to steep.

This has left me in mourning for romance, I am sad for it’s departure. I will resist it as much as possible. I will take people on picnic lunches on breezy day. I will take lazy walks and talks. I will write letters on paper and send them out in the post mail. I will dance to Ella Fitzgerald singing “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered“. I will do all these things even if I have to do them by myself to myself.

This hopeless romantic wants to know, what is the most romantic thing you have done or participated in?

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June 30, 2011

Age Is Only A Number

People never believe me when I say that I am 21 years old. They always say “oh I thought you were older than that”. Honestly I am not sure if this is a compliment or criticism, but because of my generally naive outlook I choose to take it as a compliment. I really enjoy letting people entertain the thought that I am an equal or at least older than I am so I never divulge my age immediately after meeting someone.

When faced with the situations that I have this past week, I wonder what makes people see age and decide to adjust their attitude towards you. I choose not to mention specific names because mostly I am pretty sure I could be sued for slander, however this week one person totally altered how they spoke to me based on the age they saw on the paper in front of them.

To paint the picture for you, I was in a car dealership and had just submitted my credit application to the finance dept. The lady over the finance dept, we will call her Bitchin’ Betty came over to speak with me. When she first started out she talked with the best maternal voice she could muster and decided the best tone was to talk down to me as if I were her on child or a lap dog. Long story short Bitchin’ Betty tried to explain to me that I could not have my cake and eat it all. Needless to say I returned Bitchin’ Betty’s condescension with a very terse and annoyed tone whenever she asked me questions.

I feel as if the situation reflects my stance on her attitude but what I really was trying to grasp at is why she had that initial thought process. Not only had she been really rude but whether or not I would be a customer  after her conversation was something she really didn’t take into account. After everything was said and done I walked away with no car and an attitude.

As most of you know I rarely post something that I do not feel or need to work on myself. I think that I really need to work on not judging people based on the first few seconds I talk to them. After how I felt today it has really made me realize how deeply you can affect someone by just your demeanor towards them. I hope that I have not done this to anyone however I am sure I have and I apologize.

I want to open the comments up with a discussion about how you handle difficult people delicately  enough to get a point across without alienating people. Please feel free to share your thoughts because I will be taking notes.

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