July 22, 2011

The Death of My Credibility

Dear readers these past few weeks have been a roller coaster of life and I can assure you it has not been as enjoyable as Diamondback. I went from the low of working my tail off to save for a car deposit and trying to live as poorly as I could to going home to Maryland and getting a new car and having all the fun of driving it back. I was so proud of that new car.

Now for the part at the top of the rollercoaster when it hits you that there is no going back and that the coaster is going down at 80 miles per hour whether you want it to or not. I had an accident in my brand new car just a little over a week after getting it. I was driving to work and could not see a tree lying in the road until it was too late and though I applied my brakes and attempted to move out of the way I slammed into that tree.

There are a few things that are upsetting to me about this whole process. The first has to be that I was taken totally by surprise and was in complete shock. I remember trying to cry thinking that would calm me down, I could not even cry I was so shocked. My arms were shaking so violently that I had a hard time calling anyone, much less 911.

The second thing that really bothered me is that the area in question had just had asplundth come and clear out all kinds of trees and underbrush because of the telephone lines on that hillside but that one area was not done for whatever reason and the tree I hit was clearly dead way before it tumbled down into the road.

The third and most painful thing is that I have been driving for 6 years without one accident or one moving traffic violation and yet when called everyone treated me like I was just an irresponsible driver who  “unintentionally, intentionally” hit a tree. I have worked so hard all my adult life to build up an image for myself where I was seen as responsible and trust worthy.

For the record I do not go looking for trees to run into and as much as I want to I am having a hard time not hearing the crunch of the metal and the pop of the airbags. I have bruises to remind me that my seatbelt worked. I also know that my bank account is $2000 lighter with nothing but a busted up new car to show for it.

Shawn meet square 1.

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July 10, 2011

Simmering Sunday: Creamy Broccoli Soup

I have been dieting for quite some time now. I end up making a lot of food that is a byproduct of my diet. I try to eat a salad daily and though I prefer to buy my veggies prepped (it is lazy I know but it saves me time and allows for more episodes of Ally McBeal) it is cheaper to buy them and prep. them yourself. Because of this whole car buying thing I have been trying to live on a shoestring so I am proud to admit I couldn’t afford the bags of broccoli/cauliflower blend so I just bought a bunch of  broccoli stalks for like 2 bucks.

I was prepping my broccoli to use in my salads when I realized the I never do anything with the stalk of the broccoli so I thought why not save it to make veggie stock with. Knowing myself I would never use it to make stock so I decided in a snap decision to make cream of broccoli soup. I had not really planned ahead for this soup and luckily being the gourmand I am I had the essentials here at the house. So because I believe that few culinary secrets should not be kept secret I would like to share with you the first installment of Simmering Saturday.

Ingredients:

  • Broccoli Florets and Stems
  • One Medium Onion
  • Canned Corn
  • 1 1/2 Sticks of Butter
  • 1 Box of Stock (chicken pref.)
  • 1 Bottle Chardonnay
  • Salt and Pepper
  • 1 Cup Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
  • 1/2 Gallon Milk
  • 1 Pint Heavy Cream (optional)
  1. First you want to prep your veggies. Separate the florets and rough chop the stems of your broccoli. Dice you Onion. Drain your canned corn.
  2. Next you want to go get your stock pot and put it on the stove top over medium high heat and drizzle in some EVOO. Toss in your diced onion with a sprinkle of salt to sweat those babies out.
  3. Once your onions look almost clear you want to add in the florets and the canned corn allowing them to cook for about 5-8 minutes
  4. Add the equivalent of 1-2 cups of your chardonnay to deglaze the pan and get all those caramelized flavors off the bottom of the pot, bring that mixture to a simmer.
  5. In a separate pot bring your sock up to temp then add it to the main batch. At this point you will smell the soup and thing “oh God how will these flavors ever mix together?” Just channel your inner Paula Deen and add a full stick of salted butter.
  6. The soup should really start to smell good at this point and what you will want to do is let the mixture simmer for at least 15 minutes stirring occasionally.
  7. Once your veggies are tender add your half gallon of milk. This will significantly decrease the temp so yet again bring it to a simmer.
  8. The final big step it to use a pan to make a rue to thicken the soup. Take you half a stick of butter and melt it in a small frying pan and add a few tablespoons of flour until the mixture looks almost like watery grits allowing it to cook for only a short time before adding it to the soup and stirring it around
  9. Before you eat this soup take a cup of mozzarella and sprinkle it in slowly while stirring taking the soup off the heat and enjoy.

This soup is derived wholly from scratch and on the fly and it tastes amazing. Depending on your tastes add as much salt and pepper you like and this will warm your soul or it will give you a heart attack. I plan on making this again on some cold winter days and like all soup it is best served with a crusty bread.

Until next time love and best dishes…lol j/k I wouldn’t rip off Paula Deen she is my old lady crush. I will tell you I used a Paula Deen stock pot and my Paula Deen cookware to make this soup (thanks Paula).

What is your favorite type of soup?

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July 8, 2011

Wait, I’m The One Calling The Fashion Police?

I of all people am as far removed from fashion as you can imagine. To say I get dressed in the dark would be a compliment. I tend to stick with v-necks, button ups, manpris, and my hoodies…oh and I forgot my infamous Old Navy red flip-flops. All that taken into account I feel that I am barely qualified to say this but what the heck went on with some of the spring collections this year.

I know that High Fashion is really never meant to be worn out on the street unless you are Lady Gaga dressing in meat or popping from and egg but these styles are ridiculous. Some of the trends I saw were  using a mustard color, parachute pants and skirts for men. I know my manpris kinda push the limit but I am fairly positive that I would never want to wear a skirt ( I will never testify to this fact just because you never know when you might need to do something crazy).

To give you a taste of these mens fashions I pulled some of the photos taken by OUT.com in their fashion section and have randomly placed them through the blog so that you can get an idea of how crazy some of the high fashion for men was this year.

Dont get me wrong I have watched the entire  series of Ugly Betty and I enjoy catching an episode of “Make Me A Super Model”/”Project Runway” from time to time but I really do not think that these trends have practical application in our world. It all seems very “been there done that”. Skirts for men are totally owned by the scottish and are done so in a more masculine way. Parachute pants should have died with the 80′s alone with acid wash jeans. And Mustard… Mustard? Who the freak likes the color of mustard with the exception of color blind people and dogs?

This bit is awkward and does not flow very well but I needed to add a disturbing fashion trend I noticed the other day when in Mason Ohio. Apparently the oh so enlightened youth of our nation have decided that they need to wear socks up to their calves. I find this so distracting especially when you notice that they have accompanied those full pulled up socks are sandals. When did it become cool to do that thing grandparents were made famous for?

So I have to ask you spring collection aside, What have you seen lately that would land someone in fashion jail?

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July 5, 2011

Day of Douchbaggery

Today has been a freaking horrible day and I thought that venting online (since I have already exercised for the day) was the best way to handle it. I sometimes have days that go according to my little schedule of my mind and some that don’t and today was just not one of those days. There are three things that specifically relate to douchebags today and I will present them in order.

First that dumb ho Casey Anthony got Acquitted of murder in the first degree, aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter of a child. I honestly have barely followed this story but like every young person my age I am used to skimming everything online and I knew enough about the case to proclaim that it was cut and dry guilty. Had I have been a juror I would have said throw her away and keep her there (I am against the death penalty because I find killing a killer morally objectionable)

I was absolutely astounded that she was acquitted. Maybe I need a firmer understanding of justice but I would have to say that justice was not served. I also do not think that justice will be served in the afterlife (if there is such a thing). This makes Casey Anthony D-Bag of the century.

Second thing that had my feathers ruffled was the fact that I lost a $50 bill. I personally hate losing anything and especially when it means I will be losing money. The real kicker though was that I remember where and when I lost the money and shortly returned to the parking lot of the CVS I had Just been to. I looked around and didn’t see the money and went to ask if maybe a good citizen had dropped it off. Nobody dropped it off and they pocketed $50. Who the frig does that, were they not taught any manners? You find money in an obvious location you return it to the main counter of the store/ establishment as lost or report it to the local police (depending on the value) or here is an idea don’t effing touch my money.

The final douche bag thing of the day was well let me show you it will be easier:

Douchegoggles

If you wonder what the funny thing over my chest is and if that is what I am talking about the answer is no. The thing over my chest covers a work logo that I do not care to advertise on this blog as my job and my blog are completely unrelated and all things posted here are solely the opinion of me and me alone. The thing I am showing you is the cheap douchegoggles (sunglasses) I bought for a trip to Kings Island so my contacts wont make my eyes feel like they are incinerating every time I get into too much sun.

I feel better, thanks y’all.

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July 4, 2011

He Is Not Dead Yet

My car being on the fritz has left me with a lot of time for reading and watching movies on Netflix. I often find myself enthralled about books and movies that as a general tone have some sort of romance. Why just the other day I found myself watching a movie about an ill guided matchmaker played by Gwyneth Paltrow called “Emma”. I found this particular movie kind of dull and fell asleep before the first 1/4 of the movie was over.

The trouble is I have a hard time imagining that life cannot be as magical as in the movies. I want to believe in a world where people drive above the speed limit to get to the airport to pick up the girl just before they scan her boarding pass. I want to believe that if you break out into a chorus of “That’s How You Know” in central park that a group of people will flock around you and have a large musical spectacular with coordinated dance and song spontaneously.

Though I really want to believe that these things are true they aren’t. Romance is dead and changing times have killed it. We are so wrapped up in our cellphones and laptops and all our so important lives we don’t take the slow route. Everything has to be fast in our society and I think that romance is like a good cup of tea, it takes time to steep.

This has left me in mourning for romance, I am sad for it’s departure. I will resist it as much as possible. I will take people on picnic lunches on breezy day. I will take lazy walks and talks. I will write letters on paper and send them out in the post mail. I will dance to Ella Fitzgerald singing “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered“. I will do all these things even if I have to do them by myself to myself.

This hopeless romantic wants to know, what is the most romantic thing you have done or participated in?

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June 30, 2011

Age Is Only A Number

People never believe me when I say that I am 21 years old. They always say “oh I thought you were older than that”. Honestly I am not sure if this is a compliment or criticism, but because of my generally naive outlook I choose to take it as a compliment. I really enjoy letting people entertain the thought that I am an equal or at least older than I am so I never divulge my age immediately after meeting someone.

When faced with the situations that I have this past week, I wonder what makes people see age and decide to adjust their attitude towards you. I choose not to mention specific names because mostly I am pretty sure I could be sued for slander, however this week one person totally altered how they spoke to me based on the age they saw on the paper in front of them.

To paint the picture for you, I was in a car dealership and had just submitted my credit application to the finance dept. The lady over the finance dept, we will call her Bitchin’ Betty came over to speak with me. When she first started out she talked with the best maternal voice she could muster and decided the best tone was to talk down to me as if I were her on child or a lap dog. Long story short Bitchin’ Betty tried to explain to me that I could not have my cake and eat it all. Needless to say I returned Bitchin’ Betty’s condescension with a very terse and annoyed tone whenever she asked me questions.

I feel as if the situation reflects my stance on her attitude but what I really was trying to grasp at is why she had that initial thought process. Not only had she been really rude but whether or not I would be a customer  after her conversation was something she really didn’t take into account. After everything was said and done I walked away with no car and an attitude.

As most of you know I rarely post something that I do not feel or need to work on myself. I think that I really need to work on not judging people based on the first few seconds I talk to them. After how I felt today it has really made me realize how deeply you can affect someone by just your demeanor towards them. I hope that I have not done this to anyone however I am sure I have and I apologize.

I want to open the comments up with a discussion about how you handle difficult people delicately  enough to get a point across without alienating people. Please feel free to share your thoughts because I will be taking notes.

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June 28, 2011

A Clever Title Should Go Here

Hello everyone, I haven’t been on here near enough lately. I was telling one of my followers that I have been super stressed and busy so posting to my blog; though it should have been; was not my first priority. I promise this time I will try harder to post than Lindsay Lohan tries to stay dry.

I am very upset that I will be trading my car in for a newer model. Now I would like to emphasize that I have never been a car guy or even a man’s man for that matter. The crazy thing is you really do get attached to your first car. There are so many good times that I have had in that car. I went to prom, had my first snow related accident, and went on some of the best road trips in my car.

I really wish I had more for you but I am not in it to win it today. Check back on thursday and hopefully I will have some inspiration.

****UPDATE**** 6/28/2011 at 3:50pm

So I needed to add to this how completely stupid the United States Postal Service is. The account I am paying my down payment with was registered to my house in MD. Because of that my checks and debit card were all sent to that address. I am in Ohio and as of yesterday am officially an Ohio resident (only for awhile…I hate Ohio with every fiber of my being). I had to get my dad to forward my box of checks and debit card to me. He sent them on friday and was told they would be here by monday…that hasn’t happened.

The thing I find most hilarious is that they offer to insure the package but never thought it would be a helpful suggestion to my 60′s something dad to put a tracking label on the package. Now I have everything lined up and all the funds to buy said car with no way to use them. As I said on Facebook earlier this morning Fuck My Life.

 

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June 9, 2011

She’s A Government Hooker

This blog should be titled “She’s A Government Hooker… Or Just A Hooker” because we are talking about America’s girl Lady GaGa. I mean that more as a joke than anything (even if I weren’t serious the little monsters aren’t called that for no reason). I have just been trying to keep my position on GaGa to myself. I feel the internet age has made people much quicker to speak and slower to think.

I personally would like to say that regardless of your views she is very talented. She is an artist and everyone would agree a very successful one. You would think that someone her caliber of weird would have been swept under the rug because as a nation we really prefer cookie cutter. She broke the mold, she dressed in meat and emerged from a giant egg, it doesn’t get much weirder that that.

I have heard interesting opinions about our Lady some that were really shocking. Being that she is weird, groups of other weird people flock to her (sounds like high-school all over again). There have been a few groups of outcasts that have moved close but I think the homosexual community has played a big part in her success. I think that has to do with she is diva material. Pop culturally speaking the gays always flock to the diva or the strong female (Cher, Celine, Madonna, etc). So naturally to  hear a very scathing review from that community is very shocking.

I can think of one person that comes to mind, an internet personality that goes by the handle of “Cheeks”. He has a blog that starts out flattering lady gaga and then turns into the reasons why he dislikes he “art” and to an extent I agree with him. I never realized that she has so much product placement in her video. Not that there is really anything wrong with that but I think it maybe cheapens her audience to haver her “art” littered with other peoples products. If you would like the link to the blog post is here: http://weyume.com/2011/04/19/the-fall-of-the-haus-of-gaga/ it is a very interesting read and makes some very compelling points.

I personally am torn about Lady GaGa because though I see the negative point that other make I still say that she is freaking awesome. Her beats are catchy and the words tell a story, which is what I like in music. Art of all kinds needs to tell a story and I feel that other artists (Ke$ha, Brittany) could only hope to aspire to what GaGa has done. I also would like to mention that I get some of the best workouts of my life when I listen to “Born This Way” and that for me is an awesome side effect.

I would like to point out that sometimes I cannot tell if our Lady actually cares about the groups she represents or whether she is exploiting them for her gain. I mean the things she did as a part of repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” were brave however I can help but feel like she only made it as public as she did because she knew she would have this new album coming out in less than a year and that she wanted to proliferate her “new” gay anthem.

I feel like my thoughts are not coming together well so I am curious what you all think of our Lady GaGa? Do you think she has revolutionized the art of singing and performing? Do you think that she is deserving of the pedestal that everyone seems to raise her on? Do you have fingers? I am just wondering because I never get comments and I really am dying to know what you know. I am like the Borg I want to assimilate (well that didn’t sound dirty at all).

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June 7, 2011

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

At this point I am sure that I have started to sound like a broken record but I am damned determined to be thin. I am so tired of my joints and back hurting because they have to support  way more than they should. I am tired of feeling guilty from eating and tired of eating because I feel bad.

I just want this chapter of my life to be over, I want to close this part of the book and never look back. I was talking to a friend about this the other day. I expressed to them that I feel like there are so many similarities between food addiction and other vices such as alcoholism or drug abuse. The biggest difference between those addictions and a food addiction is that you can completely turn your back on those but you cannot go without food. You will physically die if you do not eat because calories are not optional.

I hate that food is what I am addicted to. Once this part is over I don’t want to become “that” guy, you know the one the formerly addicted person who their new life still revolves around their past addiction. I want to walk away from this and act like it never happened. I know this is impossible because it is not like my mother will relinquish my childhood pictures for me to burn and I cannot remove myself from peoples memory.

I apologize if this sounds like a chemically induced rant, it is the chemicals are dopamine, seratonin and norepinephrine. They are like sirens and I hate them.

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June 6, 2011

Life Update

Hey everyone, I just wanted to write an update about what is going on in my life so far. I try to keep people looped in via twitter/facebook but even my more personal blogs omit a lot of what is actually going on in my day to day life. I have a lot going on and a lot coming up this summer and just wanted to share some things.

I started eating right and exercising quite a lot this past month or so. It all started back on Feburary 26, I decided to stop drinking soda (specifically coke) after about a week or so I had lost 10 pounds. My job started a fitness challenge so I really got on board with that and as of thursday I weighed in at 270lbs putting me at a total loss of 20 lbs. I have started playing tennis for fun with an athletic friend of mine (she probably gets more of a workout than me because I have her going all over the court). I am over-all eating well and doing my best to shed this weight and keeping it off for good. As a side note someone actually asked me if I had lost weight the other day (the person is too stupid to make up a fake compliment)

I have done a lot of reading these past few weeks. I have read “The Hunger Games” trilogy, “Bossypants” by Tina Fey and “The Kite Runner”. I expect to make some sort of blog commentary/opinion piece for my blog on these books so keep an eye out. As far as my blogging goes I am trying very hard to get back on a schedule and having at least two posts a week with maybe a third. On the idea of the third post I am thinking about doing a saturday or sunday column of recipes I have either tried, would like to try or that I think taste really good.

I have matured financially these past few months. I had been really afraid about my bills that were going unpaid. The story goes that I decided to pay for a portion of school with credit cards (at Chesapeake College) I stupidly could not afford that and ended up defaulting on 4 credit cards. They went unpaid for over a year. I called the respective companies and struck out deals with them to pay what I actually charged and a diminished amount of the fees that had piled up. I am very proud to say that my slate is still tarnished however there is no longer any debt due on any of my accounts.

With the financial fun My dear car “Foxy” has taken a turn for the worst. Most recently she was making this horrible noise that sounded like a playing card in the spokes of a bicycle tire times 10. I have had to make the very difficult decision to purchase a new car. By the end of this month I plan to have saved a down payment for a new car and if everything goes as planned I will have a new car.

Relationship wise I have nothing to report. To you it may seem depressing however I am happy where I am at in my life. I have some issues that I need to deal with before I can drag someone into this mess, the biggest is my weight (pun intended). I have also some personal issues that I am not ready to share with you all and who knows the day I share them may be never it may be issues I carry to my grave. I can say that I am learning daily that I need to accept myself and let those who do not fall by the wayside. I can report that I have a very strong network of friends that I find most dear to me, everyone I have befriended has a very strong character. My friends all have different stories to tell and are all strong people and I am blessed to have them in my life.

I have been doing some things to improve myself professionally. I have been working with a mentor as well as several managers and friends to get some skill under my belt. I feel the desire to lead people and I think that is where I am headed. Hopefully I wil have more to report as the summer continues.

I have began outlining a book that I would like to write. I have always really enjoyed writing. Blogging has always been an outlet for my emotions and my thoughts. I know that a book is much different writing style however I think that it will be a good thing to write a book. I have a lot of life experience for someone my age and believe I have an interesting story to tell. I am not sure how far on this book I will go but trust me you all will be some of the first to know if I publish it.

It feels like I have so many more things to share but they are just not surfacing at this moment. I will continue to update everyone and hope that you all have a great summer. Please comment telling me about your summer plans. To my most loyal readers I would like to give a shout out Jen you are one of my closest friends and I love that you care enough to follow my rants. To Angie, I am so happy for you and Sarah ( they are having a baby ) thank you for taking time to read my works and come visit me before you go visit your work wife.

life continues…….

Update Monday 10:57:

As indicated in the comments on this post, my friend Alison is an avid reader of mine as well. Thank you Alison and yes I will be home sometime this summer,  most likely july.

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